Calm or chaos?

I've always had a thing for chaos: how things and situations land on the floor and in the middle of hallways, rather than being in shelves and drawers. Yet I'm calm.
Anyways, what do you do after everything is cleaned and placed properly? You create a new mess, as to clean that up too. You wipe, dust and wash so much that objects lose their shine. But that is what is taught to you, so you be obedient.
Or you be chaotic. Shatter glass Windows, ruin ironed shirts, spill wine on the new book and what not. You pretend to live the wild life. Or maybe that is what you are.
The irony is, life has become a vicious cycle of calm and chaos. You either follow the same routine everyday and call it a life or you create new problems and engage yourself in solving them.
The question that remains is; who's alive and who's just existing, calm or chaos?
There are people like me too, standing on the radius of the circle; Chaotic as a human yet living in a refrigerator. Or a calm human in extreme situations. Basically we're called paradoxes. And you know what's funny? This is the paradox of our life.

Poem: Window.

Her deep grey eyes,
Were fond of an old creaky window,
It was silver and separated everything,
With checks and crosses.
She used to map the world on its shadow,
And neglected that her countries were boxed.

But one day she was tempted to look outside,
So she wandered around the place.
And realized,
She had hallucinated the window's beauty.
The metal wasn't a summer morning,
It was cold and tough.
Thought of it as a cage,
Now she cursed it.

Years later she understood it was her power;
To focus on the world and the window would've blured away.
But she wanted to own both;
The warmth of the cage,
And the wrath of the sage.

Loneli-mess?

Loneliness is dangerous. Your stories echo only on the inside and it makes it hard for you, to listen to what the world has to say. A lot of people may or may not be willing to lend you an ear but anyways your mouth seals itself up. You get scared of being judged or misunderstood.
You may be smiling, cracking jokes or even advising people on how to deal with problems. But there's a voice screaming inside of you, "The light inside is broken but you've to show that you still work", Never let that happen. Let yourself take a break! The movie after the interval will be more interesting, believe me.
On a lot of occasions, we tend to believe that we're disturbing people by talking about our problems. But I've learned this, unless you don't share your problems with someone and seek help to heal your insecurities, they'll clutch you and force you to worsen things. And how can you wish to see the sun, when you've locked yourself up in a room without Windows?
There will also come days when you can't trust people or you might not have a shoulder to rest upon. On that day, make paper your friend, it has more patience than people. It won't be able to answer your questions but will surely help to guide a way to them.
Build yourself a home with The bricks thrown on you. Place it gently inside yourself, so when you can't take shelter anywhere, you'll still have a place to go to. Decorate that house with memories and positivity and always keep the doors open.
Life is a journey you take alone, yet surrounded by people. On the way, let yourself be alone not lonely.

A 10/10?

I was roll number 14 for my new school teacher. I was customer number 25 for a local restaurant. I am someone's second cousin and I am also one amongst the 7 billion people on this planet. I am a lot of numbers, but I've always failed to be a 10/10.
I relate to Nobita on a lot of days. I score a lot of zeroes in my tests, tests of life. Every time I or you judge someone's appearance we fail to learn that we're all pre-made paintings and it's not in our hands to decide what colour goes where. Every time we call someone names, we fail to consider how beautiful their existence is to the people who love them. Every time we comment on someone's nature, we fail to realize the situations they had to face to become what they are.
It's not because of our true self that we can't become a 10/10 but it's because we've always focused on other's actions more than focusing on ours. If only we had spent the number of hours on figuring out what we needed, we wouldn't have to wait for someone else to fix us. I agree that I'm not perfect but if you think you are, stop fooling yourself. The basic problem is that while these numbers define us or give us an Identity, we misuse them to destroy someone else's.
The day you consider other's battles equal to yours and the day you help others to conquer their fears, is the day when a 10 would be less to define you. And don't worry! As the body shrinks and hair gets grey but smiles don't change even at the end of the day. 💯

Poem: A letter to the future me.

Dear myself,

Within the limited 365 days,
We live our lives in numerous ways.
While you're struggling from dusk to dawn,
Some people are dying and some are born.

A love deep as the ocean you crave,
But if you're shallow you take that to your grave.
Ignoring other's you want your heart to be heard,
When it merely beats in a seven billions herd.

Life is a puzzle and the pieces are limited,
The one who couldn't fit in always exited.
Time is moving and people are fast,
How do you expect your temporary to last?

Fall for yourself as standing is mainstream,
Don't worry, waterfalls never miss reflecting a single sunbeam.

Writing to you not waiting for a reply,
Just remember you're strong no matter who stands by.

Yellow and black.

Wherever you go, you'll find many Black and Yellow coloured taxicabs slipping through the traffic. They always want someone to enter them and they promise to take you to your destination.
Remember walking by the Yellow street lights under the Black sky? No matter how dark it is, they have enough brightness to guide you back home.
When someone shines a yellow torch in our eyes, we immediately close them and walk away as we're scared to lose our eyesight because we're scared of the black. And this is why I lost my eyesight to the lovely pair of eyes which were pale yellow with beautiful black Irises.
I coincidently stared at them when everyone else seemed very busy. They had stories to tell but they belonged to a beggar and maybe that's why no one had the time to listen.
I realized that these beggars are like the taxicabs, always slipping through the traffic. But if you enter inside their soul, they'll take you to destinations which you cannot even imagine.
They have lived under the streetlights all their life and they too have enough brightness to guide you back as the city is their home and they're friends with each corner of it.
The truth of their life is so harsh like the torchlight that if someone shines it in our eyes, we close them and run away. Because we all are scared of thinking beyond our comforts and beyond our lives.
All they have around them is so negative that even surviving in those situations is very brave. Not only economic problems but they also have to face a lot of emotional problems. They have to go through a lot of humiliation every day. And let me remind you that losing your dignity and self respect in someone's eyes is not very easy. But we don't want to understand it because according to us they can easily take up a job instead of begging which again is not so easy.
So next time if you too find such yellow and black eyes, don't ignore them or walk away. Just smile at them and make them feel that even they're important. 💫

Prisoners of emotions.

We have always tried to be the dictators of our emotions as they can either be our strength or our weakness but we still continue to be it's slave. Optimism plays a very important role when it comes to dominating our emotions. If you want to feel good, you have to think good. You cannot stand in the rain and wish to feel warm and dry. "The more man meditates upon good thoughts, the better will be his world and the world at large."
Why do you think the flowers that bloom become the reason of our happiness? They don't intend to bloom for us but indirectly leave us Contented? The answer is simple- Its not the flowers but our emotions attached to them that makes us feel contended and happy. Similarly, we are emotionally attached to a lot of things, they can be people or objects. And we usually blame those things for how we feel but we forget that it's not them but our emotions that ruin or make the things up for us.
"We keep moving forward, opening new doors, and doing new things, because we're curious and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths." And as we keep doing things and keep growing, the working of our emotions get complex. As situations keep changing rapidly and our emotions stimulate according to them, we are left confused about ourselves. We end up taking wrong decisions and regret them later. But then mistakes teach us to shine brighter. And who said that it's wrong to carry scars as Wrinkles should merely indicate where the smiles have been.
We teenagers usually go through a lot of emotional battles due to the hormonal changes taking place in us. We usually think that this is the end of the world but the truth is that these small battles help us to build a stronger army for tougher battles in the future. And remember no matter how tough our pasts Will be, it'll help us to accomplish better things as The past is the best prophet of the future.
No matter how hard it is to deal with your emotions, never give up on them. They may make you feel helpless sometimes but when you catch the right ones, you can be one of the strongest and the happiest people in the history of existence.